beans have feelings too

One of my new favorite restaurants is a cute little place called Wabi Sabi. Mike, one of the sushi chef's, is always tanked on sake, and makes the best rolls this side of the Mississippi. You can always count on him to yield the powers of his magic knifes and send a fluttering butterfly made only with a carrot across the bar. At first I only sat at the bar, enjoying delectable raw fish delights, but one day we decided to sit at a table. This aren't your standard tables, much like Benehanna's (sp) they surround an open grill, and you sit with strangers if your there with a small party. OK, I can dig it. It's a blast. Everyone is always having a good time, getting little bits of food tossed into there mouth by the chef, who at the same time is making a volcano out of an onion (like I said before, magical knifes, but this time add a little fire). These guys are pro's, and not only do they make flaming onion volcano's, flip food in your mouth with incredible accuracy, crack eggs in mid air, and spin knifes around like a baton, they cook the most phenomenal food. Now like I said before everything is cooked on an open grill right in front of you, and a lot of it is made all together. Meaning, one big batch of fried rice is stirred up for the whole table. So we've established two things, the food is incredible, and they cook family style. Get ready for the rant (you knew it had to come sooner or later). If you know all this, why would you go there to make menu modifications. I can sympathize with people who eat low fat, or no salt diets, but really, Wabi Sabi ain't Burger King, they don't make it your way. Of course this rant was inspired by an actual event, my last lunch was almost ruined by a crazed no oil, no sauce, no salt wife, who spoke for the both of them if you know what I mean. Every no salt on our shrimp, no sauce on our fried rice, you could see the chef wince with pain. His food was being ruined in front of his very eyes. And I was in terror, I go there for great food, and didn't want my meal to be bland and boring. Some how the chef pulled it off by practicly separated our food, but you could tell it was tough for him. So to give the guy a little support, I let out a little cheer every time he put salt, sauce, or butter on anything. I tip my big puffy paper hat to Ronny the best and most patient chef at Wabi Sabi. And to the no salt, I wear the pants in this family lady, don't even think about sitting at my table again, I'm liable to chuck a mini soy sauce bottle at your head.

I'll never forget the April Fools joke played on me in the 7th grade. This girl Nikki (who I didn't hate, but didn't like either) comes up to me with a few more of our friends and says she knows someone who likes me. All right, I'm digging this already because what's better than finding out some guy likes you. I mean even if he's a dork, at least you know someone noticed you, right. Anyway, she goes on to say, "but he doesn't like a few things about you." Talk about a peek and valley, from ego-maniac to thinking I should have never crimped my hair this morning. It turns out he thinks my cheeks are too big (understandable, I do have a round face), I smell (I did just get out of gym class), and I sit with my legs open. OK, now I'm pissed, sit with my legs open, how dare he. But Nikki is like, "I promised not to tell you who it is," and runs off. I start to get over it. It must have been some weird one off time I wasn't sitting like a lady, and like I said I'm not always coming out of gym class. He can live with the cheeks though right, I mean if he likes me already, then he'll get over it. And anyway, I'm cute and my cheeks are cute too. I'm thinking, cool, I'm going to get a boyfriend (because if you brushed hands in the hall way you were going "out" in the seventh grade). Having a pretty good 15 minutes, then Nikki comes back. She's like, "hey the guy that likes you is John," and everyone started roaring with laughter. I'm frozen thinking of the John's I know, when it hits me. April fool's. I just thought that a toilet liked me. I've never had an April Fool's day since then that I didn't think about that joke.

Plagiarising from one of my favorite April Fool hater's, hope you didn't run into an April Tool.